dark circles under eyes. dig.

and i realize i don't have anything useful to say, all my words are currently encompassed in pages and pages of papers on papers. the end is ((not!)) in sight, but these distractions have turned my nights into quite the delight of manic highs and wishful (socialist) rants for my professors to smile at. 

"hang in there"

"keep grinding"

do you realize?

This is my revel.

i danced in the spring rain today. 

 

Do you think these papers will (n)ever make a difference in the world? no matter how many citations i conjure up even? perhaps there is some subliminal connection to their influence on my gpa that will later provide me with useful....stuff to supplement something that will allow me to further continue the capitalist development of...wait.   Shit..... 

fuck it, i still dig it. 

 blush under our sunglass lines

rip off artiste

((as read in MoTHeR Jones))

What starts with "f," ends in "k," and means "screw your workers"?   That's right-- 401(k).

The best thing about Fridays:

I can drink as much coffee as I want. 

i don't even know where to start. 

these dreams need to stop!

for twenty too

watching raindrops drop and birds huddle close in their nests of safety surrounded by a green sea of ivy leaves. living in the past, watching the present while reruns replay in my head. listening to Ani ((looking up occasionally)) cuddled close to stuffed comfort it is the closest i get. missed my own birthday, i ran away instead. 

ice cold water feels good right now next to the fireplace and i can't find the words i want to say. 

i can't wait for the first swim of the season. wash me away. 

Night calls. she beckons to me with memories long past that should be long gone. Night calls as she turns from dusk to indigo. go. go. she speaks to me between bitter straight teeth. 

six months gone

it feels so long in some ways, but others I wake up at dawn and it feels like yesterday

I know! I'm Supposed to be Learning and growing, taking every new experience and letting it shape me with knowledge. I know! I am Supposed to look back some day with total nostalgia and realize what a better person I am and the strengths I have developed from certain experiences but seriously. Dude, do you ever just feel like something was a complete fucking waste of your time? 

Maybe it's fleeting and that's all part of this wonderful world of reading rainbows and ways to grow. But I am still left wondering if one's moral compass can really point North or only inward?

ten club

i only walked a little tonight but the Cold air was all i needed. 

i couldn't help but believe the formation of my carbon dioxide with each exhalation was my body's way of expressing itself; out in the open, saying everything for me i couldn't scream. 

I saw my breath take form in the air before me, 

leaving the toxins outside 

to dilute

and pollute the cold

that grasped my skin 

in perfect comfort

and wrapped me in

the calm of coldness.

whirlwind weeks

 I think a spring detox is around the corner. Let all the build up from the last year wash away with the April showers and rising rivers. Even if I have to traipse through the mud for a while, I feel more adequately prepared with the big red gum boots by my side (on my feet). 

There was a print in the studio that said 'The weather is here Wish you were beautiful'.   Silly.  

sunny daze 

vitamin D doses and rosy cheeks, 

peeling knees and big shades

Most of all, 

reflections from showin' teeth,  

showin' skin 

bill cunningham says: spring is IN!

Very much looking forward to spending nights upstairs, covered in a thousand blankets surrounded by the expanse of black windows. Full moon watching over me, waves guiding me down calm shores to sleep.