an April thought

i've had this feeling at the back of my throat, from the back roads of the last little while. it comes out in the mornings after nights of torrent everything. a little frog that reminds we are only human and you can only go so far. croak croak croak he speaks, nothing above a whisper.

he only screams to keep your distance.

love, peace and mad bitches. the fact that you send me wishes like these is the reason you're my soulmate.

"1) that you will celebrate 4/20 with organic goodness and "chocolate cake" oh to hell with the i'm talking about pot brownies

2) that you wear plaid

3) that you love life

4) that you act like the little Piglet I know you are- red balloon and all

5) that you not own a brush

6) that you have a lovely long yoga session

7) that everybody treats you like a princess even though you probably think princesses are stupid

8) that you go out tonight and spend 30 minutes trying different combinations of outfits that no one else would look good in because no one else can pull off a hipster vibe in rochester like the Funk

9) that you weight lift with grape nuts before you go o ut so that you're toned for the bar

10) that you pick wildflowers growing up through the sidewalk

11) that you have nice weather

12) that your soccer team plays really well

13) that everyone you don't like gets a bloody nose

14) that you find something you lost

15) that you light candles in memory of psycho D

16) that you obtain an avocado and eat it

17) that your yellow and red bike mate and form a hybrid for me

18) that you don't trip and fall down

19) that everything is a big hat (and therefore funny?)

20) that your car purrs like a kitten and roars like a tiger

21) that you win the lottery and give it all to charity

22) that you snot rocket on another cute boy

23) that you get stoked to see me on friday "

Summer's fast approaching. This time of year always races by on bicycles and tan legs. It's funny to think just a year ago how different everything was. I'm happy to say this was probably the most productive year of my life. It's easy to think that happens a lot just out of college. Young and idealistic, we still think we have the capability to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. I don't slouch yet.

The city is alive with anticipation of sunny dazes and a foggy mind from the heat of happiness. or happiness of heat, i forget which one.

It was heavy with humidity today and I longed to be in the water, although I was happy to be hanging out with the kids. It was a little different today; one spoke of his mother addicted to crack and his thirteen year old sister flunking out. What do you say? What can you. I'm sure SB would know but I was quite at a loss for words, only able to lend my capability as open ears.

We did a sex workshop later on, it was interesting. Duh, it's sex, it always is. There is so much pressure for kids not to have sex. Period.Fact. But also to have sex at the same time. It's like a competition to see how confusing life can get. How could they possibly manage and not feel guilty or strange about something that comes naturally. I just want to tell them it's Okay and just make sure, more than anything, you use a fucking condom. Is it okay though? and When? Everyone does it, they're going to, telling them not to can only fuck with their heads. back to Is it okay? back to When? Don't feel guilty, don't be embarrassed. Don't feel alone. Do they need to hear that? Or was it just me.

a sliver of moon tonight, a few stars and a lot of clouds. south wind whispers of summer's sweet approach as laughter wafts down the dark streets. theres a recent softness in the air. i smell gold eyeshadow and nude lips. the touch of your kiss. sunburned thighs and tan lines. short skirts and longer hair. a sense of love without a care...

goodbye winter.

and unforgiving nights

FLA.

A different kind of beach, all to ourselves. But we'd share it with the World.

Lately days, I find you fading away. i like it.

Most recently,

Welcome to my newest family member. I believe he will be called Luke and keep Eddie quite pleasant company.

I wrote this last year, but it's exactly how I'm feeling meow. Ugh, frustrated with the blooming flowers and endless legs and heavy air of spring.

i miss the cold. the pristine snow and its superfluous glow, beneath blueblack skies, strewn with stars unexplored, answers hidden behind your eyes. i miss the cold. chill to the bones just to remind you you're alive.

i miss the cold.

because only the necessities survive.

April First

I didn't think of you at all today.

April Fools.